


Zombies Never Live Somwhere Convenient

by Originalpuck



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-28
Updated: 2014-02-28
Packaged: 2018-03-22 19:31:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3740905
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Originalpuck/pseuds/Originalpuck
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When it came down to it, Wizard guardians were never all that helpful, anyways.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Zombies Never Live Somwhere Convenient

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the “AU: High Fantasy” square on my femtropebingo card. Originally posted on my [tumblr](http://zombieannamilton.tumblr.com/post/78161856315/zombies-never-live-somewhere-convenient#disqus_thread).

Buffy groaned as High Wizard Giles pushed her through more training. It really wasn’t fair. Giles had his giant wizardy-staff, couldn’t _he_ just take down the necromancer trying to raise the zombies on his own? But no, Buffy had to do it, because she was the _Chosen One_.

Thanks to Giles, a shadow of a zombie appeared to her left, and Buffy took it out with a roundhouse kick that knocked its head clear off. The nice thing about zombies, at least, was that they fell apart pretty easy. Especially when Giles conjured fake ones for practice.

From the fire a few yards away, Buffy’s younger sister, Dawn, clapped. It was a slow clap, one that said she totally wasn’t impressed. “How long do I have to sit around and watch this? Can’t Buffy just go take down the necromancer now, so we can get back to your nice and drafty cabin?”

“When Buffy is ready, we’ll be able to go.” Giles said, as stuffy as ever.

“Easy for you to say. You can just conjure some wizards heating spell or whatever and keep yourself warm.” Dawn burrowed deeper into her furs, for emphasis. “And Buffy’s got that super-special Chosen One thing going on.”

“Hey, I still get cold,” Buffy countered. It would’ve probably been more effective if she wasn’t sweating, but taking out fake zombies for hours on end was hard work. Still, she looked at Giles and heaved a sigh. “But Dawnie’s right. I’ve been practicing for hours, and you'e already quizzed me on all of the ways to take down a necromancer without letting him kill me. Why are we waiting around? It’s cold, and for all we know the zombies could be freezing-in-place without me to kill them!”

Giles heaved a long-suffering sigh, one that Buffy had become quite used to in her years of working with him. “I highly doubt that the zombies will be freezing from the cold. But perhaps you’re right. We have been practicing for quite some time, and the trip here was filled with enough tests of its own.”

“You’re telling me,” Buffy countered. “That werewolf managed to rip out some of my hair! Do you have any idea how long it’s going to take me to grow it back?”

Giles just sighed and sat down next to the fire. He conjured a tea kettle out of thin air, and set it close enough to warm. “As soon as I get something to drink, we’ll be on our way. And once we’re done, you can worry about your hair all you would like.”

–--

It wasn’t a hard trip to the lair of the necromancer. Sure, it took them through elven territory, but once they’d seen that Buffy was the Chosen One, they’d let her pass mostly unscathed. Though she wasn’t sure that the fashion mockery from an elf named Cordelia really counted as unscathed.

Not that Buffy was paying much attention to that now. Instead, she was staring bug-eyed at the other girl with her other Wizard trainer, who was claiming to be the Chosen One herself. She had dark hair, and eyes, and was looked like she was made to handle the winter. Her clothes pegged her as a nomad, not that it mattered much, because she was clearly delusional.

“Sorry, one Chosen One at a time, and I’m her,” Buffy countered. The girl, Faith, smirked.

“That’s what they all say. But I’ve got plenty of kills under my belt to prove it. Oh, and then there’s my Wizard, Wesley. He won’t get off of my back, but he should be proof enough.” Faith gestured behind her to the guy she called Wesley, who was currently in furious and angry talks with Giles.

Dawn was back to nursing a fire that she’d built. Giles should’ve been able to Wizard them one, but he thought it was better training to make them build one on their own. Which would probably explain why Dawn’s fire was so weak, since there was snow everywhere and barely any kindling around.

That was kinda the problem when you were less than a mile away from a giant cave of evil necromancy. “Yeah? Well I handled the goblin threat in Mesarto,” Buffy countered. She stuck her hands on her hip. “And I’ve never heard of you.”

“Well, B, is it? I’ve never heard of you, either. So either we wait until those two,” and Faith gestured towards the arguing wizards, who had actually begun to take out their journals and other books and jab at them while fighting, “come to some sort of agreement, or we do what Chosen Ones do – go and kick some zombie ass.”

Buffy still wasn’t sure she trusted Faith, but anything was better than waiting forever while Giles had a hissy fit arguing with another Wizard. And if she waited much longer, she was pretty sure Dawn would never let her hear the end of it. “Fine,” Buffy said. “But I’m going in first.”

Faith gestured ahead of her. “Suit yourself. I just wanna kick some ass, already.”

\--–

“So, who’s the girl?” Faith asked, as they crept through the winding tunnels. Sheesh, couldn’t a single baddie decide to make his lair just slightly less complicated? It would make things so much easier. Which, Buffy guessed, was probably why she spent most of her time traipsing around underground caves and dungeons of horrors. “The one that you’ve got with you?”

“Who, Dawn?” Buffy wasn’t paying too much attention to the conversation. “She’s my sister.”

“And she came with you? I hate to tell you, B, but that looks like a black mark against the whole ‘I’m the Chosen One’ thing you’ve got going on.”

“My parents are gone. It’s just us, and so she comes along with us.” Buffy shrugged, glancing behind her to see Faith’s eyes focused solely on her. “Giles says it’s a stupid risk, but even he can’t argue that it’s better to leave her alone, when she could get killed by anybody who wanted to start a fight with the Chosen One.”

“Huh,” Faith said. She was taking in Buffy’s face. “My mom got killed right when I discovered I was Chosen.”

Buffy opened her mouth to say something, maybe offer her condolences, when Faith pointed beyond Buffy. “I think that might be the right opening.”

Without the maps from Giles or Faith’s Wizard, traveling the cave had been a lot harder. But since this seemed to be the last opening on this path, Buffy nodded her agreement. She slowly yanked out her favorite weapon – a hybrid of an ax and a stake – and crept forward. Faith did the same, only Buffy could see that she held a knife close to her.

Peering around the corner, she saw the necromancer and a few of his cronies. His decaying skin mirrored the dead that he raised, and his cronies looked like they might fall apart themselves. Well, this should be easy. With a hand signal towards Faith, Buffy stormed into the room, ready for a fight.

\--–

It was over much faster than Buffy had expected. The few zombies that had been raised in time weren’t any threat for her and Faith, and they fought together in unison, almost as if they were made to battle together. Faith was swift and deadly, and Buffy felt much safer with her at her side.

“Well, that was a bust,” Faith said. She bent over and picked up the mostly-shredded grimoire. “Me and Wesley-the-prude have had worse fights over whether I can go to the local brothel to take the edge off.”

“Brothel?” Buffy asked, surprised. Faith didn’t look like the type that would need to go to a brothel to pick someone up.

“Well, yeah, B. You know, when a fight like this promises all of the adrenaline, and then is a let down? Well, a girl’s got needs and all.”

“Yeah, I guess.” Buffy did have needs, but really, traveling with her sister and Giles kinda tampered things down _a lot_. Even when she had met a few pretty women on the road, things hadn’t ever gone anywhere, because she was always being called away to put out another fire before anything got past the making out stage. “Giles isn’t too keen on me going out with people, either.”

Faith grinned, and gestured around her. “I’ve got an idea. It’s just us, all alone in this big old cave. I’m sure we could come up with something to do to take the edge off.”

And now Faith was grinning at her, and moving closer with that same deadly grace that she had shown on the battlefield. Buffy inhaled, and wondered what it would be like to kiss another Chosen One. To not have to hold back, for fear of hurting someone. She smiled back, a wicked grin of her own. “Then kiss me, already, and get it over with.”

And Faith did. Oh, how Faith did.


End file.
